the challenge

is to your intelligence, your awareness, your conscious clarity, your ability to understand, your willingness to access, your passion to learn and explore... do you feed your ego so it is healthy and strong without taking from or control others?... do you find your limits are challenging to find and always strive to reach beyond them when you do find them?... does your energy level rise above all around you?... can you go days without sleep and still find clarity, creativity, and energy bubbling through your mind?... do you choose logic and reason over blind faith in all things and yet, eagerly open your mind to the unknown and that which is beyond your current knowledge and understanding?... do you always challenge your beliefs?... are you unafraid of knowing and sharing your body?... are you insatiably curious, passionate, and creative?... can you do as you please no matter what others say or might say?... are you always aware of yourself?... do you love to play with words?... do you feel an imperative to share yourself in written words?... is reading truly fundamental to your experience in this life?... do you always overcome your fear?... are you comfortable balancing the extremes of intensity and relaxation on all levels?... do you understand the relativity of everything?... do you actualize it in all you do?... do you love unconditionally?... do you trust unconditionally?... do you, above all else, place being honest and harmless as the top priority at all times?...

distractions and deeper desires

I’ve got to get a handle on my impulses today
I’m letting imbalanced lusts get carried away
and I have not been writing to myself enough lately
letting distractions dilute deeper desires in me

looking for connections
comments messages and tweets
looking for attention
looking for someone who wants to meet
internet diversions
wanting to believe I’m finding friends
just wishing and hoping
the long term loneliness ends

but I keep so busy that I don’t
remember to keep in touch with myself
I wonder if you understand
I don’t let myself feel as lonely as I am

I’ve got to get back to taking care of myself
not just the momentary impulses
but the dreams long stashed up on a shelf

I’ve got to get back to the depths deep inside
not just the simple happy daily smiles
but the passions that have been so long denied

looking for connections
but too busy to see
looking for attention
but not giving enough attention to me
internet diversions
watching tv and playing games
just wishing and hoping
somebody will share more than names

but I keep so busy that I don’t
remember to keep in touch with myself
I wonder if you understand
I don’t let myself feel as lonely as I am

I don’t want to feel the desperation
I don’t want to settle for one night stands
I don’t want to choose someone just to quell the loneliness
I wonder if anyone understands

I’ve got to get a handle on my business today
I’m letting work and light play get carried away
and I have not been writing to myself enough lately
letting distractions dilute deeper desires in me
I must return to the deeper desires in me

here is the one

where is the one who finds passion in words
who finds sleep pushed aside every night
where is the one who sings sweeter than birds
who does not have an off switch on their inner light
where is the one who will stay awake with me
who gets too excited to sleep over creativity
where is the one who lives to feel the energy
of emotion, who can stand this much intensity
this much sensitivity
this much simply being free

I know you are out there somewhere
I can feel your energy reaching out
and if you have not found someone like you
who understands what life is really all about
then I hope you will find these words in this song
and I hope you will pick up the phone
there’s a part for you to sing along
right here next to me, you’ve always known
even though we are always alone
that together we’re never alone

we can share the bump and grind
we can share the cuddle and purr
we can share the wild eyed passion
we can share the winter’s brrrr
we can share the seasons changing
we can share the magic touch
we can share the believe in love
and the feeling of wanting too much
and we can share everything
so it’s never ever too much

here is the one who finds passion in words
who finds sleep pushed aside every night
here is the one who sings sweeter than birds
who does not have an off switch on their inner light
here is the one who will stay awake with you
who gets too excited to sleep over creativity
here is the one who lives for everything you do
with devotion, who can stand this much intensity
this much sensitivity
this much simply being free

you know I’ve been here looking for you
as you’ve been looking for me

to love someone

are you sitting by yourself
are you hanging out with friends
are you starting new beginnings
are you contemplating ends
are you listening to me
are you hearing me right now
are you feeling anything
are you wondering how

to love someone
to love someone
to love someone
right now

are you putting on a smile
are you feeling lonely too
are you wishing on a star
for someone to come to you
are you within the sound of my voice
and will you turn on your light
do you understand that love's a choice
and you can make it tonight

do you want to love someone
do you want to love someone
do you want to love someone
alright

here i am in front of you
holding out my hand
hoping for your heart
do you understand
will you dare to trust
and give love a chance
to blossom into pleasure
and grow into romance

do you want to love someone
do you want to love someone
do you want to love someone
tonight

are you suddenly alert
are you thinking about this
remembering how it felt
to touch, to feel, to kiss
are you letting yourself dream
will you dare to wake up now
see me holding out my hand
will you let me show you how

(will you try to understand)
(will you remember how)

to love someone
to love someone
to love someone
right now

I am putting on a smile
I am feeling lonely too
I am wishing on a star
for someone just like you
I am within the sound of your voice
I am turning on my light
and I understand that love's a choice
I am making it tonight

I want to love someone
I want to love someone
I want to love someone
tonight

discomfort

there is massive (pun intended) discomfort in the body these days and that brings me to wonder why i am even socializing if i am in no mood to share the body (cuz it’s not all about the sex?... or even the physical comfort?... so why are we alive then?... well, hopefully cuz we want to be and we want to enjoy the experience of being here… and the sex, nothing wrong with sex, as long as it’s mutually comfortable… ah, long live the sense of humor cuz it’s something the only sense i’ve got left)… another step closer, perhaps...

so if you want to be with me, you’ll need patience, a whole lot of patience… and the time to sit and watch, to sit and talk, to sit and listen, to sit and be… and walk and lay and run and float and hug for a long long time… for i seek gentleness and innocence and almost most of all, patience and understanding… if you want to be with me, you’ll need to sleep with me first and i mean sleep… for i seek someone who fits in the pauses, the time outs, the silences, the depths where the secret dreams live… for i seek most of all, the stillness in moments between the heartbeats, were we share uninhibited unconditional love and trust…

these are the days of my self-imposed discomfort and it is a test… a test of will, a test of strength, and test of belief… for in you want to be with me you’ll have faith in me, believe in me, and see beyond the fool pushing the limits of life itself in this body and past the aging uncomfortable physical shell into the me living inside… find comfort in this, even amidst discomfort, that will inspire me to bring the great experiment of overindulgence and typical human frailty to an end and slowly one morning we will wake up to find the comfort once again… and then, if passion comes, we will roll with the flow...

still want to be with me?

these words

this is what i do
when i am alone

i'd rather be sharing
i'd rather be holding someone's hand
i'd rather be kissing
i'd rather be making love

i'd rather be caring for someone
who is caring for me
living in the physical world
being all i can be

and sharing it all
with someone sharing it all
with me

but this is what i do
when i am alone

i dream of sharing in the words i write
i dream of loving all through the night
i dream of caring in the physical world
with someone who's arms would unfurl
and wrap around me, and they would feel
everything in me that is real
and i would feel
another person just as real

but when i am alone
this is what i do
it keeps me from feeling too lonely
or getting too lost in the blues
when i am alone
this is what i do
i dream in these words
i write to you

sleep is for the ones who can
this is what i do
i dream in these words
i write to you

a lover's song

you know i want to love you
i can see it in your eyes
the secret looks you give me
so don't pretend surprise
in all your insecurities
the hunger still shows through
you know your fire can burn me
but i/m still wanting you
yes you know this is true
i want to love you

and it doesn't matter how far apart
others might tell us we are
the rules do not matter when feelings like this
bring wishes down from the stars

and it doesn't matter if everyone else
says we've got no right, it is wrong
they don't have a clue about what love is
not when it comes on this strong

you know i want to love you
i can see it in your lips
as they secretly kiss me
a tingling in your hips
sense shivers down your spine
as you face what is true
you want to feel my loving
as much as i want you

you can taste it
(i can taste you)
your scent is in the air
you can smell it
(i can smell you)
can't hide being aware

bodies tremble
fingers ignite
the first time we touch
stars flicker
muscles tighten
we want it so much
the first time we touch
is all night

and when the morning comes
we're sprawled across the floor
two animals in heat stroke
only wanting more
wanting more
more and more

you know i want to love you
and now you are secure
and you want to love me
we know what we're here for
we're here to love each other
and we want more
all the time
we love loving each other
more and more