the challenge

is to your intelligence, your awareness, your conscious clarity, your ability to understand, your willingness to access, your passion to learn and explore... do you feed your ego so it is healthy and strong without taking from or control others?... do you find your limits are challenging to find and always strive to reach beyond them when you do find them?... does your energy level rise above all around you?... can you go days without sleep and still find clarity, creativity, and energy bubbling through your mind?... do you choose logic and reason over blind faith in all things and yet, eagerly open your mind to the unknown and that which is beyond your current knowledge and understanding?... do you always challenge your beliefs?... are you unafraid of knowing and sharing your body?... are you insatiably curious, passionate, and creative?... can you do as you please no matter what others say or might say?... are you always aware of yourself?... do you love to play with words?... do you feel an imperative to share yourself in written words?... is reading truly fundamental to your experience in this life?... do you always overcome your fear?... are you comfortable balancing the extremes of intensity and relaxation on all levels?... do you understand the relativity of everything?... do you actualize it in all you do?... do you love unconditionally?... do you trust unconditionally?... do you, above all else, place being honest and harmless as the top priority at all times?...

tears

i cry all the time somewhere inside
feeling every child who has ever died
feeling the insensitivity of pride
and the cruelty of fear and love denied
but i laugh at the futility as much as i cry
for this life is a moment, a blink of an eye
and whatever it means beyond all we can see
all we have is this moment to share, you and me
all we have is this moment to be
the best we can be

it may all be meaningless in the end
there may be nothing more after we die
and life may all be an illusion my friend
just a figment of imagination - not a lie
but a dream we embody in the blink of an eye

so i cry all the time somewhere inside
feeling every child who has ever died
feeling the insensitivity of pride
and the cruelty of fear and love denied
but i laugh at the futility as much as i cry
for this life is a moment, a blink of an eye
and whatever it means beyond all we can see
all we have is this moment to share, you and me
all we have is this moment to be
the best we can be

wide awake at 4am again

how many times will i write the same line
will i use the same rhyme
is it all the same crime

oh how many ways can i sum up the days
will i act the same plays
is it all the same maze

the wind blows no answers tonight
just the same old story board i write
how long since i first put down in pen
and i am wide awake at 4am again

i know i need to be in love
i know i've wasted too much time
i know i ask perfection from a quite imperfect world
and fool enough to think that's what i'll find

how many times will i sing the same song
will i right the same wrong
will i ever belong

how many times will i recall the scene
do you know what i mean
was it all a dream

so long ago

can you imagine what the world would be
like everyone lived honestly
can you imagine how your life would feel
if you let yourself just be real
all the time
all the time

oh my god i can't believe it's happening again


and again...


and again...


tbc...


:)

who you are

i want to know who you are
why you live
why you breath
how you sleep
how you feel
what you do
what you want
when you shine
when you know
who you are

i want to know where you go
when you dream
when you love
how you live
how you breath
while you sleep
while you shine
what you are
what you share
why you love
why you go
where you go

i want to know everything
about you

do you want to be loved
unconditionally
do you want to be adored
beyond eternity
do you want to be cherished
infinitely
do you want to be trusted
completely
totally
honestly

without reservations
unconditionally

i want to know what you feel
how you think
how you are
when you soar
when you fold
where you dance
where you fly
why you live
why you lie
who you trust
who you love
what you love
how you love
why you love

i want to know everything
about you

here is the one

where is the one who finds passion in words
who finds sleep pushed aside every night
where is the one who sings sweeter than birds
who does not have an off switch on their inner light
where is the one who will stay awake with me
who gets too excited to sleep over creativity
where is the one who lives to feel the energy
of emotion, who can stand this much intensity
this much sensitivity
this much simply being free

I know you are out there somewhere
I can feel your energy reaching out
and if you have not found someone like you
who understands what life is really all about
then I hope you will find these words in this song
and I hope you will pick up the phone
there’s a part for you to sing along
right here next to me, you’ve always known
even though we are always alone
that together we’re never alone

we can share the bump and grind
we can share the cuddle and purr
we can share the wild eyed passion
we can share the winter’s brrrr
we can share the seasons changing
we can share the magic touch
we can share the believe in love
and the feeling of wanting too much
and we can share everything
so it’s never ever too much

here is the one who finds passion in words
who finds sleep pushed aside every night
here is the one who sings sweeter than birds
who does not have an off switch on their inner light
here is the one who will stay awake with you
who gets too excited to sleep over creativity
here is the one who lives for everything you do
with devotion, who can stand this much intensity
this much sensitivity
this much simply being free

you know I’ve been here looking for you
as you’ve been looking for me

discomfort

there is massive (pun intended) discomfort in the body these days and that brings me to wonder why i am even socializing if i am in no mood to share the body (cuz it’s not all about the sex?... or even the physical comfort?... so why are we alive then?... well, hopefully cuz we want to be and we want to enjoy the experience of being here… and the sex, nothing wrong with sex, as long as it’s mutually comfortable… ah, long live the sense of humor cuz it’s something the only sense i’ve got left)… another step closer, perhaps...

so if you want to be with me, you’ll need patience, a whole lot of patience… and the time to sit and watch, to sit and talk, to sit and listen, to sit and be… and walk and lay and run and float and hug for a long long time… for i seek gentleness and innocence and almost most of all, patience and understanding… if you want to be with me, you’ll need to sleep with me first and i mean sleep… for i seek someone who fits in the pauses, the time outs, the silences, the depths where the secret dreams live… for i seek most of all, the stillness in moments between the heartbeats, were we share uninhibited unconditional love and trust…

these are the days of my self-imposed discomfort and it is a test… a test of will, a test of strength, and test of belief… for in you want to be with me you’ll have faith in me, believe in me, and see beyond the fool pushing the limits of life itself in this body and past the aging uncomfortable physical shell into the me living inside… find comfort in this, even amidst discomfort, that will inspire me to bring the great experiment of overindulgence and typical human frailty to an end and slowly one morning we will wake up to find the comfort once again… and then, if passion comes, we will roll with the flow...

still want to be with me?

a child

i am a child
please lock me away
and throw away the key
if i can not be what i am
if i must be what you want me to be
just put me on a shelf
i'll weave baskets or pottery
if i can't be myself

i am a child
please try to understand
i do not want your rules
or the back of your hand
if i must jump when you say jump
just send me to my room
i'll live in my own fantasies
rather than your world of doom and gloom

i am a child
i am not afraid of you
you can fuck me or kill me
the worst you can do
but nothing you do will change me
put that on my tombstone
the fears and corruption you live
you can keep for your own

i am a child
i mean no harm
you can not take my innocence
you can not take my charm
my magic is believing in
the wonders of being alive
and no matter what you do
my dreams will survive

i am a child
we're always being born
you may be afraid of us
or you may simply mourn
the loss of your childhhood
you're caving into fear
you can make your choice, but not mine
can i make it more clear

i am a child
i will keep coming back
to remind you of your mistakes
and of the strength you lack
you can sell your idealism
you can condemn your soul
but you can not stop me from playing
out my destined role

i am a child
the martyr on your cross
the one burned at the stake
i represent your loss

i am a child
the hope for tomorrow
the pain of facing truth
the end of your sorrow

if you will stop trying to own me
and stop living in fear
and let a child lead you
you will become aware

i am a child
you are a child
i am a child
you are a child
i am your child
you are my child
i am my child
you are your child
i am a child
i am a child
i am a child
your turn...

from a love

we come from a different time
when love was as simple as sleeping together
body contact with an innocent touch
and if it felt good even better

we come from a different place
where love is as honest as holding each other
feel our heartbeats and breathing as one
being with trust in each other

all the rules and judgments
humans seem to need
all the fear and labels
that make people bleed
all the divisions that
keep people apart
all the confusion that leave
people broken hearted
we started sharing love
before all that started

we come from a different mind
where love does not need to be figured out
or explained or justified
just shared without fear or doubt

we come from a different heart
where love does not need public approval
where love does not need to be defended
where love does not need to be pretended

where love does not need validation
where love does not mean separation
where love does not mean putting others down
where love does not mean dividing a town

where love does not mean condemning anyone
where love does not come at the point of a gun
where love does not wait for after we die
where love does not teach us how to lie

where love does not wait for a certain age
where love does not bleed on history's page
where love does not demand conformity
where love is alive and real and free

we come from a love that some people pray for
we come from a love with no wall or door
we come from a love people say they want to find
a love they once knew but all left behind

all the rules and judgments
humans seem to need
all the fear and labels
that make people bleed
all the divisions that
keep people apart
all the confusion that leave
people broken hearted
we started sharing love
before all that started

a lover's song

you know i want to love you
i can see it in your eyes
the secret looks you give me
so don't pretend surprise
in all your insecurities
the hunger still shows through
you know your fire can burn me
but i/m still wanting you
yes you know this is true
i want to love you

and it doesn't matter how far apart
others might tell us we are
the rules do not matter when feelings like this
bring wishes down from the stars

and it doesn't matter if everyone else
says we've got no right, it is wrong
they don't have a clue about what love is
not when it comes on this strong

you know i want to love you
i can see it in your lips
as they secretly kiss me
a tingling in your hips
sense shivers down your spine
as you face what is true
you want to feel my loving
as much as i want you

you can taste it
(i can taste you)
your scent is in the air
you can smell it
(i can smell you)
can't hide being aware

bodies tremble
fingers ignite
the first time we touch
stars flicker
muscles tighten
we want it so much
the first time we touch
is all night

and when the morning comes
we're sprawled across the floor
two animals in heat stroke
only wanting more
wanting more
more and more

you know i want to love you
and now you are secure
and you want to love me
we know what we're here for
we're here to love each other
and we want more
all the time
we love loving each other
more and more

creative loneliness

every now and then there is a loneliness
and it gets so intense
deeper than i can explain

it comes from somewhere inside the core of me
and it's an agony
that wants to shut down my brain

it comes when creativity
wants to share
but only finds a void
beyond the smiling faces
annoyed
i cry out silently
who will care?

but if anyone hears
no one responds
i mean, what can you say when you see
when all hope is gone

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to care
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share...

a numbness falls upon the arms and legs
with such gravity
the hands cannot turn the page

a fatigue swallows all the energy
all movement suspends
is this just what comes with age

it comes when creativity
wants to share
but only finds a vacuum
and the body needs air
so sad
i cry inside of me
who will care?

but if anyone hears
no one responds
i mean, what can you say when you ...
just carry on

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share...

but if anyone hears
no one responds
i mean, what can you say when you see
. . .

and what do you see
when you look at me
from so far away
as you do today
from out in the crowd
you just see a cloud
there's just fantasy
without intimacy

you can enjoy the song
but you can't see
the depths beneath
the creativity

you can enjoy the show
but you can not be
a real part of
the creativity

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share...

still a muse from far away
is better than no muse today
so i thank you for your cheers
your laughter and your tears
the loyalty, the years

even if they are all in my mind
the memory
the fantasy
makes creativity
deaf dumb and blind

and somehow . . .

more kind

and somehow . . .

that is kind

what was left behind...

the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to care
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

creativity
wants to share...

creativity
wants to share...

creativity
wants to care...

creativity
wants to share...

creativity
wants to share...