part of me

(not just a kim carnes song, or cover, for that matter), but the facts of life as i know them is that there are threads (and not just a carole king song, or tapestry, for that matter) weaving through life connecting moments and people and memories and promises and magic and poems and more (and prayers for some, or alliteration, even) and everything old is new again or something like that, but ever so seriously (like a brick to the forehead), i sensed she (a singer known as dia frampton) would touch the roots (the deepest threads of me, that is, and she did at first eye contact… but she was a child standing in the rain and i was an aging rocker even wetter staring at her smile in the midst of the warped tour a few years back) and her words (and music) and several times she blew through my mind (even more than stevi nicks once did, but there are not dozens of letters written to the fantasy of knowing her today cuz I’m older and wiser and more mature and realistic and stupid, or something like that) and finally, she did (you can also listen below, with one less thread) and maybe it means something to you too, but to truly know me (which is a prerequisite to being with me), you must understand this thread and to stay, you must accept it (the feeling, the promise, the dream, the magic, the one, the love, it stays with you if you let it) will always be a part of me for the threads of love never end (they just go on and on my friends, and not just a shari lewis song, or lambchop, even)…

who you are

i want to know who you are
why you live
why you breath
how you sleep
how you feel
what you do
what you want
when you shine
when you know
who you are

i want to know where you go
when you dream
when you love
how you live
how you breath
while you sleep
while you shine
what you are
what you share
why you love
why you go
where you go

i want to know everything
about you

do you want to be loved
unconditionally
do you want to be adored
beyond eternity
do you want to be cherished
infinitely
do you want to be trusted
completely
totally
honestly

without reservations
unconditionally

i want to know what you feel
how you think
how you are
when you soar
when you fold
where you dance
where you fly
why you live
why you lie
who you trust
who you love
what you love
how you love
why you love

i want to know everything
about you

the real (challenge)

from the first thought in my head i understood alone, there was only me in my head, but the lure to share was powerful and overcame the reality of being alone, the delusion of sharing, the co-dependency, swallowed reason and replaced it with romantic delusion that lead to emotional, psycological, and even physical addictions... blow after blow of reality tore through the delusions and still i somehow rebuilt the dream i made so real in my mind... the dream called falling in love and sharing everything in every way with another being... the fact that we would both be alone no matter what was consistently ignored year after year producing the ache of addiction brought on by belief in the delusion... and then, somewhere in the last onslaught of the real aloneness forced upon me by the absolute betrayal of unconditional trust and abandonment, the power of the delusion exploded like a supernova in my mind and suddenly, though my conscious mind may not have noticed, the addiction was gone... infinite space remained... and i accepted the reality of aloneness (completely?) and may never be able to forget again...

but there's the challenge for you, can you make me want to forget again? :)

for the love of words

and sharing...

looking for someone who loves to blog
who loves to write and share
the dreams and hopes and fantasies
and creative play in words online
would you be a friend of mine
will you play with me
you are welcome to design
the words that you see
presentation has effect
even blah blah blah blah
the on meaning and affect
yours to discover

looking for someone who loves to write
and to communicate like this
for the love of words is such a sweet delight
it is a mental kiss
that leads to mind bliss
do you understand
the pleasures of the mind
the passion we can share
for the love of words
even blah blah blah blah blah
the wonders of this way
ours to uncover

it can be as goofy as a corny old song
it can be uter nonsense, i'll still sing along
it can be profound meaning taken most seriously
it can be anything as long as you share it with me
for you are anything and everything to me

looking for someone who wants to play
with words and images this way

la la la

narf :)

distractions and deeper desires

I’ve got to get a handle on my impulses today
I’m letting imbalanced lusts get carried away
and I have not been writing to myself enough lately
letting distractions dilute deeper desires in me

looking for connections
comments messages and tweets
looking for attention
looking for someone who wants to meet
internet diversions
wanting to believe I’m finding friends
just wishing and hoping
the long term loneliness ends

but I keep so busy that I don’t
remember to keep in touch with myself
I wonder if you understand
I don’t let myself feel as lonely as I am

I’ve got to get back to taking care of myself
not just the momentary impulses
but the dreams long stashed up on a shelf

I’ve got to get back to the depths deep inside
not just the simple happy daily smiles
but the passions that have been so long denied

looking for connections
but too busy to see
looking for attention
but not giving enough attention to me
internet diversions
watching tv and playing games
just wishing and hoping
somebody will share more than names

but I keep so busy that I don’t
remember to keep in touch with myself
I wonder if you understand
I don’t let myself feel as lonely as I am

I don’t want to feel the desperation
I don’t want to settle for one night stands
I don’t want to choose someone just to quell the loneliness
I wonder if anyone understands

I’ve got to get a handle on my business today
I’m letting work and light play get carried away
and I have not been writing to myself enough lately
letting distractions dilute deeper desires in me
I must return to the deeper desires in me

here is the one

where is the one who finds passion in words
who finds sleep pushed aside every night
where is the one who sings sweeter than birds
who does not have an off switch on their inner light
where is the one who will stay awake with me
who gets too excited to sleep over creativity
where is the one who lives to feel the energy
of emotion, who can stand this much intensity
this much sensitivity
this much simply being free

I know you are out there somewhere
I can feel your energy reaching out
and if you have not found someone like you
who understands what life is really all about
then I hope you will find these words in this song
and I hope you will pick up the phone
there’s a part for you to sing along
right here next to me, you’ve always known
even though we are always alone
that together we’re never alone

we can share the bump and grind
we can share the cuddle and purr
we can share the wild eyed passion
we can share the winter’s brrrr
we can share the seasons changing
we can share the magic touch
we can share the believe in love
and the feeling of wanting too much
and we can share everything
so it’s never ever too much

here is the one who finds passion in words
who finds sleep pushed aside every night
here is the one who sings sweeter than birds
who does not have an off switch on their inner light
here is the one who will stay awake with you
who gets too excited to sleep over creativity
here is the one who lives for everything you do
with devotion, who can stand this much intensity
this much sensitivity
this much simply being free

you know I’ve been here looking for you
as you’ve been looking for me