why i am alone

and i detest the fear most people empower within themselves... the fear of differences, fear of what they do not understand, fear of what they can not control... typical human fears... these fears repulse me so much, i remain alone...

to be with me, you must understand this... especially if you have these fears...

the challenge

is to your intelligence, your awareness, your conscious clarity, your ability to understand, your willingness to access, your passion to learn and explore... do you feed your ego so it is healthy and strong without taking from or control others?... do you find your limits are challenging to find and always strive to reach beyond them when you do find them?... does your energy level rise above all around you?... can you go days without sleep and still find clarity, creativity, and energy bubbling through your mind?... do you choose logic and reason over blind faith in all things and yet, eagerly open your mind to the unknown and that which is beyond your current knowledge and understanding?... do you always challenge your beliefs?... are you unafraid of knowing and sharing your body?... are you insatiably curious, passionate, and creative?... can you do as you please no matter what others say or might say?... are you always aware of yourself?... do you love to play with words?... do you feel an imperative to share yourself in written words?... is reading truly fundamental to your experience in this life?... do you always overcome your fear?... are you comfortable balancing the extremes of intensity and relaxation on all levels?... do you understand the relativity of everything?... do you actualize it in all you do?... do you love unconditionally?... do you trust unconditionally?... do you, above all else, place being honest and harmless as the top priority at all times?...

time passages

so i missed the day... actually, missed a lot of days, but this day i reference, the first of may, is especially missed... as is the music, which is so much a part of the first of may... the music is so far away sometimes from the daily life and the people in it... the memories way much farther away (don't be sad, cuz two out of three ain't bad, ya know?)... many years since anything deeply (as in truly madly and beyond) meaningful has been shared or created, alas... so i mourn a bit and at least stop by a couple of hours after the fact to acknowledge when i was small... and how we used to laugh while others used to play... because even if you never really knew that experience or knew me well enough to understand how much that concept and experience meant to me (from the library corner through the leap off the precipice and the beginning of the end marked by tape 62 and the selected rest {72, 85, 95, and so on through 305, 351, 365-9 [or was that 165-9, alas, memories fade], and more, 387, 390, 391... sigh} that followed)... oh (as in oh wow) the music was so much of me outside of this blogging life...

wow, that was an unexpected aside...

miss me?

i do...