the challenge

is to your intelligence, your awareness, your conscious clarity, your ability to understand, your willingness to access, your passion to learn and explore... do you feed your ego so it is healthy and strong without taking from or control others?... do you find your limits are challenging to find and always strive to reach beyond them when you do find them?... does your energy level rise above all around you?... can you go days without sleep and still find clarity, creativity, and energy bubbling through your mind?... do you choose logic and reason over blind faith in all things and yet, eagerly open your mind to the unknown and that which is beyond your current knowledge and understanding?... do you always challenge your beliefs?... are you unafraid of knowing and sharing your body?... are you insatiably curious, passionate, and creative?... can you do as you please no matter what others say or might say?... are you always aware of yourself?... do you love to play with words?... do you feel an imperative to share yourself in written words?... is reading truly fundamental to your experience in this life?... do you always overcome your fear?... are you comfortable balancing the extremes of intensity and relaxation on all levels?... do you understand the relativity of everything?... do you actualize it in all you do?... do you love unconditionally?... do you trust unconditionally?... do you, above all else, place being honest and harmless as the top priority at all times?...

who you are

i want to know who you are
why you live
why you breath
how you sleep
how you feel
what you do
what you want
when you shine
when you know
who you are

i want to know where you go
when you dream
when you love
how you live
how you breath
while you sleep
while you shine
what you are
what you share
why you love
why you go
where you go

i want to know everything
about you

do you want to be loved
unconditionally
do you want to be adored
beyond eternity
do you want to be cherished
infinitely
do you want to be trusted
completely
totally
honestly

without reservations
unconditionally

i want to know what you feel
how you think
how you are
when you soar
when you fold
where you dance
where you fly
why you live
why you lie
who you trust
who you love
what you love
how you love
why you love

i want to know everything
about you

here is the one

where is the one who finds passion in words
who finds sleep pushed aside every night
where is the one who sings sweeter than birds
who does not have an off switch on their inner light
where is the one who will stay awake with me
who gets too excited to sleep over creativity
where is the one who lives to feel the energy
of emotion, who can stand this much intensity
this much sensitivity
this much simply being free

I know you are out there somewhere
I can feel your energy reaching out
and if you have not found someone like you
who understands what life is really all about
then I hope you will find these words in this song
and I hope you will pick up the phone
there’s a part for you to sing along
right here next to me, you’ve always known
even though we are always alone
that together we’re never alone

we can share the bump and grind
we can share the cuddle and purr
we can share the wild eyed passion
we can share the winter’s brrrr
we can share the seasons changing
we can share the magic touch
we can share the believe in love
and the feeling of wanting too much
and we can share everything
so it’s never ever too much

here is the one who finds passion in words
who finds sleep pushed aside every night
here is the one who sings sweeter than birds
who does not have an off switch on their inner light
here is the one who will stay awake with you
who gets too excited to sleep over creativity
here is the one who lives for everything you do
with devotion, who can stand this much intensity
this much sensitivity
this much simply being free

you know I’ve been here looking for you
as you’ve been looking for me

to love someone

are you sitting by yourself
are you hanging out with friends
are you starting new beginnings
are you contemplating ends
are you listening to me
are you hearing me right now
are you feeling anything
are you wondering how

to love someone
to love someone
to love someone
right now

are you putting on a smile
are you feeling lonely too
are you wishing on a star
for someone to come to you
are you within the sound of my voice
and will you turn on your light
do you understand that love's a choice
and you can make it tonight

do you want to love someone
do you want to love someone
do you want to love someone
alright

here i am in front of you
holding out my hand
hoping for your heart
do you understand
will you dare to trust
and give love a chance
to blossom into pleasure
and grow into romance

do you want to love someone
do you want to love someone
do you want to love someone
tonight

are you suddenly alert
are you thinking about this
remembering how it felt
to touch, to feel, to kiss
are you letting yourself dream
will you dare to wake up now
see me holding out my hand
will you let me show you how

(will you try to understand)
(will you remember how)

to love someone
to love someone
to love someone
right now

I am putting on a smile
I am feeling lonely too
I am wishing on a star
for someone just like you
I am within the sound of your voice
I am turning on my light
and I understand that love's a choice
I am making it tonight

I want to love someone
I want to love someone
I want to love someone
tonight

someone like you

is there anybody out there?
anybody alone?
anybody want a partner?
still secure on your own?
it’s not because you are needy
it’s not because you are weak
but because you love sharing
and it’s love that you seek

is there anybody out there?
anybody free?
not looking for a replacement
you know you are complete
it’s not because you are frightened
it’s not because you are empty
but because you love caring
and you’re looking for me

you don’t understand the human crutches
you don’t share the typical human needs
you don’t need to be told what is holy
you don’t need to be told what to believe
you don’t need to fit in with the masses
you don’t care about popularity
you don’t need to follow the ways of the crowd
and you don’t need to follow me

but you want someone just as independent
just as strong and secure as you are
you want to share everything completely
that is what you wish on a star
unconditional love unconditional trust
you want to believe true love can be
something we create and can make real
sharing fantasy in reality

is there anybody out there?
you know you’re different
you don’t fit in
and that’s alright
you’re true to yourself
enjoy your reason
and still you dream
and not just at night

what some call enlightened
you just call your way
you enjoy your life
you fulfill your day
you want to share your nights
with someone who’s true
someone who’s different
someone like you

i’m waiting out here
waiting for you

a child

i am a child
please lock me away
and throw away the key
if i can not be what i am
if i must be what you want me to be
just put me on a shelf
i'll weave baskets or pottery
if i can't be myself

i am a child
please try to understand
i do not want your rules
or the back of your hand
if i must jump when you say jump
just send me to my room
i'll live in my own fantasies
rather than your world of doom and gloom

i am a child
i am not afraid of you
you can fuck me or kill me
the worst you can do
but nothing you do will change me
put that on my tombstone
the fears and corruption you live
you can keep for your own

i am a child
i mean no harm
you can not take my innocence
you can not take my charm
my magic is believing in
the wonders of being alive
and no matter what you do
my dreams will survive

i am a child
we're always being born
you may be afraid of us
or you may simply mourn
the loss of your childhhood
you're caving into fear
you can make your choice, but not mine
can i make it more clear

i am a child
i will keep coming back
to remind you of your mistakes
and of the strength you lack
you can sell your idealism
you can condemn your soul
but you can not stop me from playing
out my destined role

i am a child
the martyr on your cross
the one burned at the stake
i represent your loss

i am a child
the hope for tomorrow
the pain of facing truth
the end of your sorrow

if you will stop trying to own me
and stop living in fear
and let a child lead you
you will become aware

i am a child
you are a child
i am a child
you are a child
i am your child
you are my child
i am my child
you are your child
i am a child
i am a child
i am a child
your turn...

stop, in the name of...

keeping in touch...

that is what the internet has always been about for me... while ego loves the dream of fame and mass adoration... and all different parts of me get off on the creative inspirations and potential for interactions... and the rhymer and writer and music loving part of me loves the idea that some collaboration could happen... and the romantic (hopelessly hopeful, of course) dreams the one (or at least a libido fantasy) might come along and find me irresistible... the bottom line has always been - to keep in touch... find the beginning and it becomes obvious...

and now?...

and now, finally faced with losses i was so hoping would not become real, finally faced with the wasted time of believing the worst could not really happen, the worst arrives with a smile and a dance and a hope that all i said about the value and meaning of the music and map and story of a lifetime was just a joke, i mean, i wasn't really serious about how important that stuff was, was i?...

or something like that...

let's just overlook how simple and considerate it would be to have taken me seriously and even now, put the pieces back together... and to think i held out hope all this time... and all i have left are the pieces of the dream... a dream that i'll give all the love i can give every day of this life for as long as i live and then some, yeah maria, and you too maria, but my heart, you know... a dream that someone will be with me...

there is a bottomless pit of despair, a gaping wound of betrayed trust, a wide-eyed star of disbelief, and a child wanting to know - can i trust myself again... for i surely failed myself when the big one came... all these wasted years... there is a mountain of sorrow, an abyss of agonizing memories, and yet, all the baggage is right at the door of the plane waiting for someone to take my hand and jump with me... the bags can stay right there and fly away without me...

who could be so bold, so brave, so daring, so secure and trusting as i have been throughout this life... someone who could be with me.

start

there are a lot of facets to my personality because there are a lot of perspectives in my head and i take all and none completely seriously… that completely seriously moment awaits the one who shares it… it is not planned, i cannot seek it, it will happen when it happens… and while i wait i explore and enjoy each moment of this life as much as possible, open to everything, focusing on the positive, seeking trust and balance and peace and love and hoping to share it…

so if you want to know me,
come sit beside me,
lean on my shoulder a while
listen to me breathe,
feel my heart beat,
share the energy of a smile

look into my eyes with your open mind
and ask me what you want to know
expect only honesty
and you will get it
unless you want me to put on a show

but if we're just playing games
then it won't be long
before one of us will have to go

take my hand, feel my skin,
ask and tell me where i've been
share the same honest story of you
and we can begin
to know what is true,
if you want a friend
then start knowing honest love
it inspires unconditional trust
dare to leap into it and you'll find
there is no end

there is no end to love, my friend
there is no end


and if you want to be with me...

t.b.c...

this one is for you

this one is for you
and only you
reaching above the bar
you know who you are
it's not competition
it's just being you

this one is for you
and only you
reaching beyond this world
for what is right and wrong and true
it's not any judgment
it's just being you

this one is for you
and only you
not hung up on guilt or shames
not infested with myth or games
believing in your senses
and in what you feel in your heart
not someone else's heart
this one is for you
for thinking with your own mind
for being responsible for yourself
not hiding in some book on a shelf
you don't need a God to be good
you were not carved out of wood
not clay but living tissue full of love
and you don't need anyone telling you what you should do
you can believe what you see with your own eyes
and you know anything is possible
so you do not fear change or surprise

you do not fear nudity
you have grown out of infancy
you do not worship man's money
you know true security
self-contained and alone and free
so you can share completely
and live openly
and honestly
all life can be

this one is for you
and only you
I love you

this one is for you
and only you
I love you

this one is for you
and only you…
I love you