Showing posts with label cha. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cha. Show all posts

Sunday, May 22, 2011

lonely but (to be with me)

yes i am lonely but
i don't want to compromise
yes i am lonely but
i will not settle for lies
yes i am lonely but
i don't want loneliness
to be a substitute
for happiness

yes i am lonely but
that is not where love comes from
yes i am lonely but
loneliness can leave me numb
so how are we to tell
if what we feel is real
when if could be loneliness
is distorting what we feel

just because you don't want to be lonely
does not mean you really want me
i could be just a convenience
someone to keep you company
for loneliness is a powerful drug
and drugs can leave us undone
so just because i am desperate for a hug
does not make you the right one

so if you can understand
then before you hold my hand
take the time to talk about
the things we can't live without
and if you can comprehend
what it means to be a friend
then we can help each other out
to get to where there is no doubt

whether it's loneliness or desire
honesty will take even higher
for together we don't have to be lonely
so we can be to open to what we really want
that is what friends do for each other
and if we find love in each other
or if we find love in another
either way we help each other discover
it's not loneliness that takes us higher
it is being honest with desire

so yes i am lonely but
i don't want to compromise
yes i am lonely but
i will not settle for lies
yes i am lonely but
i don't want loneliness
to be a substitute
for happiness

so yes i am lonely but
the cure for that is a friend
so can you be my friend
you see to be with me
you first must be my friend
to be with me
you first must be my friend

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

unconditional (partial)


what would you do if i could not walk?
would you still want to be with me?
what would you do if i could not talk?
would you still be able to hear me?
what would you do if i could not see?
would you still want me to feel you?
what would you do if i grew old and frail?
would you still want to be by my side?

look into my eyes, what do you see?
what really attracted you to me?
what would you do if it was all gone?
would there be any love to carry on?

where is the unconditional love
is it only in dreams?
is it just me or have you found
love is seldom as it seems
where is the unconditional trust?
is it just fantasy?
is it just me or have you found
trust is an impossibility...

for rarely is it tested
often it's a mistake
it lives so well in dreams
but dies when we're awake
so rarely is it lasting
unless it is faked
have you ever met a promise
that did not break?

look into my eyes, what do you see?
what really attracted you to me?
what would you do if it was all gone?
would there be any love to carry on?

where is the unconditional?...



almost listening Alice Peacock's I'll Start With Me

Monday, October 20, 2008

creative loneliness

every now and then there is a loneliness
and it gets so intense
deeper than i can explain

it comes from somewhere inside the core of me
and it's an agony
that wants to shut down my brain

it comes when creativity
wants to share
but only finds a void
beyond the smiling faces
annoyed
i cry out silently
who will care?

but if anyone hears
no one responds
i mean, what can you say when you see
when all hope is gone

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to care
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share...

a numbness falls upon the arms and legs
with such gravity
the hands cannot turn the page

a fatigue swallows all the energy
all movement suspends
is this just what comes with age

it comes when creativity
wants to share
but only finds a vacuum
and the body needs air
so sad
i cry inside of me
who will care?

but if anyone hears
no one responds
i mean, what can you say when you ...
just carry on

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share...

but if anyone hears
no one responds
i mean, what can you say when you see
. . .

and what do you see
when you look at me
from so far away
as you do today
from out in the crowd
you just see a cloud
there's just fantasy
without intimacy

you can enjoy the song
but you can't see
the depths beneath
the creativity

you can enjoy the show
but you can not be
a real part of
the creativity

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share...

still a muse from far away
is better than no muse today
so i thank you for your cheers
your laughter and your tears
the loyalty, the years

even if they are all in my mind
the memory
the fantasy
makes creativity
deaf dumb and blind

and somehow . . .

more kind

and somehow . . .

that is kind

what was left behind...

the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to care
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

and the creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

creativity
wants to share
but nobody's there
and nobody's here

creativity
wants to share...

creativity
wants to share...

creativity
wants to care...

creativity
wants to share...

creativity
wants to share...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

what it will be

the room spins in the shadows of the ceiling fan
the dust settles fast as it blows
the story is written in blood on the stones
the truth is told nobody knows

poets praise prophets and prophets curse poets
and pirates raid profits for fun
lovers and losers and lasers and liars
all fall at the sound of the gun

there is no difference between us
even as we struggle for identity
there is no magical purpose
even as we pride for posterity
there is no heaven in waiting
even as we grovel toward eternity
there is no ultimate meaning
there is only you and me
in this moment
you and me
and what we make of it will be
what it will be

the great ball of fire in the sky gives life to all
the dust settles as fast as it lives
the story is written in ash on the fields
the truth is what nobody gives

preachers praise saints and saints stay silent
as pirates raid pulpits for fun
holy and sinners and winners and saviors
all fall at the sound of the gun

there is no reason to go on
even as we fight for our victory
there is no virtue or value
even as we pose for our history
there is no great final reward
even as we pray for humility
there is no grand design
there is only you and me
in this moment
you and me
and all we feel and see
and what we make of it will be
what it will be

Friday, September 12, 2008

starry starry night

it sucks to be vincent
in a world that doesn't care
it sucks to be vincent
when you want to share
it sucks to be vincent
there's false joy in despair
it sucks to be vincent
ask anyone who's been there

Friday, August 8, 2008

consistency

if i came here every day and wrote something meaningful, something profound, or even just something that i wanted to share, innocuous, personal, general, specific, serious, irreverence, nonsense, or whatever...

would it matter in the end if you missed an entry?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

some things that are wrong

judging bugs me, but in some way, we all must judge for ourselves what is right and what is wrong... it is a frame of reference for all of our choices in this world... so i ponder some of the things i feel are most wrong in this world and most of them start with humans...

not making up your own mind... most humans pretend to be independent and claim to want freedom and pretend, arrogantly at times, to know what they believe, but observing objectively, most humans just follow the leader and believe in and do the same things, right or wrong, that the vast majority of humans have been doing for most of recorded history and probably well before... the blind leading the blind is wrong...

glorifying war... i have yet to believe one justification, one reason for the cheering and celebration of any group of people actively building and using weapons to, with calculating precision, deliberately kill other humans... if cannibalism is wrong, then why not genocide?... and to glorify those who successfully kill?... so often in the name of a leader who wrote a book based on fundamental laws that include thou shalt not kill just makes the whole concept and action a mockery of the leader, the book, and the hypocrisy behind it all... war is hell, remember?... and hell is wrong...

the military industrial complex... people killing people is big business and glorifying war is one of the primary missions of the business... just what would all the factories and people working to build weapons do if the human race suddenly chose peace and love and understanding instead of conflict and hate and war?... unemployment is the great fear the military business plays on as they hide behind the flag that they will burn as quickly as they wave it just to make a profit...

the drug industry... most people are addicted to drugs, from caffeine to cocaine, from chocolate to valium, from aspirin to prozac, from laxatives to anti-biotics, the drug industry pushes their product on us harder and better than any street corner drug pusher ever could and we buy into the quick fixes and legal highs and modern medical experimentation as fast as any addict or guinea pig ever did... people are just rats in the maze...

the alcohol and firearms industry... is it ironic that the government combines these two into one department, or is it just poignant... just like the drug pushers, the alcohol makers provide the legal poison that european white men gave to native north americans in order to repress and destroy them... most humans rely on fire water to cope with stress... mosdt humans are afraid to socialize without alcohol... and guns, the every day local military mindset is fed by the gun industry... the macho men and the criminals carry and use guns take, to steal, and to bolster their fragile egos... humans addictions do not stop at war and drugs and alcohol, for most people are just as addicted to violence as anything else...

the news... perhaps the single most depressing, destructive, and time-wasting activity i see people do is watching the news... not only do the newscasters pander to the lowest weaknesses and most base fears, but they exploit stupid and gullible people with ridiculously obvious repetivive dramatics, cliches, and rabble-rousing over the petty and pitiful foibles and tragedies that respect would leave private... but when it comes to the news media there is no respect for human decency or ethics or that supposed leader who wrote that supposedly holy book with those supposedly fundamental laws... there is the pretense of concern, but obviously no real concern for people as people are to be exploited in the news stories and by the advertisers alike... and that's the way it is...

tabloid tv and print media... almost as bad as the news because it does the same thing and even worse invasions of privacy and telling lies, at times, but at least the yellow rag media does not take itself as seriously as what is pretentiously called the fourth estate or the legitimate media... from the light hearted celebrity exploiting gossip shows to the hard core and potentially dangerous paparazzi to the ridiculous my mother was a space alien stories that call out from check out lines in supermarkets, it is representative of the superficiality and disrespectful approach to life and to each other most humans choose these days... and this makes me sad...

tv... while i love audio and visual stimuli and i love reading and watching fiction, the majority of commercial television is the commercials, the news, tabloid crap, and talk talk talk just to sell more crap... most of the fiction suffers from a pitiful lack of creativity and shows a complete absence of originality...

and this is where i shall pause... there are other things about life on thise planet that i feel are wrong, like pollution, abuse, poor parenting, arrogance, and the processed and fast food industries, the religion business, but i'll leave those and more for other times when i have more time... this is some of what you need to know if you want to know me, share with me, and be with me... and if you really want to be with me, you can create your own commercial now...